They're going dancing, these folks I hang around with. It's 'retro' 90's is retro these days, apparently. Not that I would have known that ripped jeans and neon pink, orange, green and yellow constituted 90's retro, but then I am ignorant and uncultured. I have been sitting here for more than half an hour watching Pete draw with pink and black sharpies on white T-shirts.
They've invited me along, even been a little pressing. Are you sure? You'd be most welcome? No thanks. Really, I appreciate, but I'm not into that. Somehow the whole ripped jeans and white T-shirt thing doesn't really appeal to me. I could do it, maybe, in the right mood, with the right people, I don't know.
Sometimes I wonder. Do I chose not to do it because I lack the confidence? because I don't have much experience? because it brings back bad memories? It reminds me of a quote from "You've Got Mail" that goes something like "I live a small life - valuable, but small - and sometimes I wonder - do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave?"
They've all headed off now, offering me one last chance as the lined up to go out the door. I smiled, and came upstairs to my flat to enjoy a few hours of solitude without fear of interruption. Now I will just be. Perhaps that is what I need, a few hours spent with my friends, seeing them off with a kiss, a hug, a word and a prayer; a few hours of blissful seclusion. Just me. Me and God.
Yes, it was the right choice.
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