Yesterday I was reading the backlog of the blog of my flat-mate's pastor. I was struck by this post and the question it contained: "Are you willing to surrender what you are for what you could become?"
As Christians, we often speak of leaving behind our "flesh" or denying "worldly" things, and on first reading, perhaps this challenge could make us think of that. Are we willing to surrender the "sin in our lives" to Jesus' transforming power?
But I wonder if that interpretation isn't actually too safe . . . Perhaps becoming a Christ-follower, a disciple, a citizen of the kingdom of heaven is actually much more all-pervasive than simply purging the "sin" from our lives, and surrendering what we "are" is not just surrendering the "sin" in our lives. What if it was everything we were called to surrender - sin, habits, attitudes, beliefs, family, allegiance, faith, understanding of God - all of those things that constitute "identity", all those things that define "what you are".
In recent weeks and months, as I have struggled to assimilate the changes in myself and the challenges placed before me by those I love the most, I have repeatedly been brought back to the question of what constitutes my identity. I have been daily challenged to allow my definition of God and my construction of reality to be destroyed so that I might know Christ and, in doing so, begin to become something or someone utterly beyond myself or my own understanding.
But everywhere along the road I encounter the signs, rules and interpretations that have formed, shaped and identified me as I have grown in the faith, and I can't help but wonder: if I release my grip on these things, where will I land?
In the midst of the chaos, fear and confusion, the answer is there, but it is spoken in a voice of sheer silence, whispered in the depths of my soul far below the waves. I can barely here it, but when I listen, this is what I hear: you will land safe in the arms of love, safe in the arms of God, held in the passionate wonder of glorious freedom.
Knowing this promise, perhaps, one day, I will learn to let go.
1 comment:
This makes me think of the first Super-man film with Christopher Reeves - Lois Lane falls out of a helicopter and Super man flies up to catch her and says "don't worry miss, I've got you", to which she replies, "you've got me, but who's got you?"
When one surrenders all into the hands of Love, logic has to be denied, understanding about saftey re-evaluated, and trust established in the safe hands of the Father.
YEAH ME - i made the post thing work cos I wasn't signed in - DOH!
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