farewell to summer

Summer is gone. Over. Vanished. There's a chill in the air and a changing colour to the leaves. Flowers are beginning to have that over-used look, and the green of the grass somehow looks old and tired, as if it is about to settle down to sleep. In the countryside, the lambs have now grown until they are virtually indistinguishable from the sheep, and in the city of Cardiff the streets are once more awash with University students settling in for another year of classes, study and nights out on the town.

When I once again appeared in my own church after some weeks absence, I was asked by several people if I had gone 'home' to the States on a visit this summer. No, I haven't left the country at all. My family has been over here visiting. The congratulate me. "How nice," they say. Yes. Nice. Good. I'm glad they came, but how disorienting I found it! In the middle of a the whirling muddle of sights and emotions, I woke one morning to find it was autumn. Where did the summer go?

Of course it wasn't just the visits from others that filled my summer. There was also my visits to others. There were a few weeks when I actually did some research work. There was the College Valedictory and the BUW/SWBC conference. There were a few preaching dates and a few astonishing, shocking or disturbing bits of news. Two of my friends lost members of their family to death. A young man I know suffered traumatic injuries and is now learning to walk again. The number of Christian fellowships where I feel at home in the UK increased to three. It was a busy summer - full of life and love and learning.

Perhaps that is where the disconnect comes in. Summers are supposed to be long and lazy and boring. By the second week in August, I generally long for the advent of September, for the rhythm and routine of academic life and the run-up to Christmas, my thirst for fellowship and further learning peaked and ready for a fresh start and another year. But I never had the chance to be bored or lazy this summer. Life never stopped. I had a chance to take a deep breath in July, but I never found the space to turn off.

And that's the signal, the signpost, the most clear indication of the door that has closed behind me. I have a suspicion that life from here on out will be a year-round affair. The pattern has altered and continues to change as my place in this world alters. It's no wonder I'm disoriented really.

The point is: I have to get back to work. One of my purposes in writing this post is to remind myself that I can write. I have done so little writing this summer. Even my journal has suffered, most of the daily entries being relatively short. I have done little academic writing since early in July and almost no posting here, although I did write a sermon or two in August.

In any case, this is my attempt to remind myself that life must go on. My brain has stalled, but I must and will restart it. My world is spinning, but I can decide to persevere anyway. At least I have now proved one important point: I am still capable of writing!