The Road Not Traveled

As a child I memorized a poem by Robert Frost, the title of which I cannot recall, but the words of the poem are still in my memory:

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could,
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other as just as fair
And having perhaps the greater claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay,
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I left the first for another day,
But knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I would ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh,
Someday ages and ages hence.
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and I
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

This poem was brought back into my head a few days ago when my mother referred to it as we were driving in the car. I recurred again to my mind today as I observed the activity in the Army of Virginia camp I was visiting. For some time my sister has been a Civil War reenacter. This weekend I drove out to Cedar Creek Battlefield to spend some time with her and her fellow soldiers in the campground. After breakfast I took the opportunity to visit the 'sutlers' with the first Sergent and a few others.
The line of sutlers' tents is set up much like the lines in the camps, and though there are many things available for sale in the way of knick-knacks and cheep souveniers, most of the tents seemed to house goods for the use of reenacters. Leather belts and cartridge boxes, dresses, shirts, trousers, hats, brogans (shoes) and rifles all period reproduced available for sale to the men and women who make a habit out of the reenacting hobby. Even down to details - one shop held only boxes full of buttons of all types, another was solely devoted to period belt buckles.
I visited nearly every tent, picked out a couple shirts that I liked, speculated on what size dress I would wear - and what it would be like to put on those hoops! I looked at the price tags on rifles and leathers and brogans and speculated on the possibility of me becoming a reenacter. Would I enjoy it? Yeah, I think so. Would I do it? I don't know. But it really is a moot point - I'm leaving the country in September. Suddenly I was struck by the thought of the road not taken - the stunning fact that every choice we make has an impact on the outcome of our lives for by the simple act of choosing one thing - going overseas to study - I have chosen not to become a reenacter (at least at this point in my life). Astounding!
As I drove home this afternoon along I-66, my mind dwelt on this thought. Going back over my life - because I chose to attend Bluefield College for my undergrad degree, I chose not to attend any other college. I chose to major in music thereby ruling out history, theology, art, science, mathmatics. By choosing music as a major I ended up with a certain set of friends in school - the other music majors. By choosing not to be married four years ago I have had the opportunity to develop my own independance and character and have a much better understanding now of what it means to lean on God for everything. By choosing to leave CBS for the Leland Center I opted out of a MACCD in favor of an MTS. And on it goes. For all of our lives we make choices that preclude us from making other choices, but the choice not to choose is also an option.
That lead me to another surprising realization. Our choices make us who we are. As soon as I had the thought I knew how common the words sound. We have all heard that said before, but I never really understood it before. As I child growing up I was somewhat spoiled and rather stubborn. I missed out on fun many times because I chose rather to sit in the corner and sulk than to play the game or attend the party or enjoy the camping trip on someone else's terms. I have carried these patterns into my adult life, and only recently begun to realize that I can consider the options before I make a choice, and I can decide to be happy with the way things turn out, even if they don't happen the way I wish they would. I can choose who I become by choosing to do my best at everything I attempt, by choosing not to have regrets, by choosing to shift through the garbage of my past and leaving it in my past when I am done. My choices make me who I am. What power!